widows_kiss: serious, curious (Default)
Natasha Romanoff ([personal profile] widows_kiss) wrote2019-09-23 08:32 am
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notsoangry: (close with nat)

[personal profile] notsoangry 2019-09-24 03:30 pm (UTC)(link)
[Bruce is genuinely surprised about what the Hulk did. Not that he went into hiding, that is what they are used to and it's an instinct they share. Maybe some part of his other self recognized the pain, guilt, and devastation within him and felt they needed to go farther than usual. Going that far was a genuine mistake, from the video he saw of Hulk lost in space. Waking up to what he did felt like the worst possible outcome, the one that used to keep him up at night, that the Hulk would take over and hurt others. And he did. Bruce doesn't know how many he killed in the ring, but it was substantial.

He doesn't want to be lost in those thoughts, he wants to focus on her. He hesitates only a moment before setting his drink aside and moving down to sit next to her. This is the kind of affection he secretly wanted from her for long before he realized that there were feelings involved. He felt safe with her. Bruce isn't always aware of his own feelings, so it was startling the first time he thought about her as anything other than a friend. He then decided it didn't matter, as she would never return them, and he couldn't do anything about it.

They lost so much time and their chance together, or so he thought, and he still is uncertain. But if she wants to be close to him, that he is happy to provide. He tentatively puts an arm around her, like a shy teenager might in a movie theater.]


Nat, I want you to know .... [Bruce keeps her hand, lacing their fingers together. The moonlacing is strong between them at the moment.] If I did crash land somewhere on Earth, I would have contacted you. I wouldn't have let all of you stay in the dark, even if I didn't come back.
notsoangry: (rubbing face glasses)

[personal profile] notsoangry 2019-09-26 05:00 pm (UTC)(link)
If I stayed away, it would mostly have been because I know how much I'd want to come back.

[Bruce was happy for the first time since the Hulk. He had a home and friends and a lab. He felt like he was living again, and wanted to keep on living. For the first few months he was skittish and kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, for them to push him away or get tired of dealing with the danger of his presence, but he eventually got comfortable. And then he lost all of it. He sighs and runs his thumb on the side of her hand.]

I didn't want to bring trouble on all of you. After Johannesburg and Ultron, continued association with the Hulk and I would hurt the Avengers' public image, more so than it already did.

[It is all very rational but stems from a place of deep emotion and fear. He loves his friends and he couldn't see any other way to protect them than to disappear.]

It would have been wrong, you coming with me. [He swallows, looking away.] That wasn't the life you deserved. [On the run, unable to help their friends again. But he was weak and when she offered, he wanted it, selfishly. He made a lot of bad decisions during Ultron.]
notsoangry: (listening to steve)

[personal profile] notsoangry 2019-09-27 02:49 am (UTC)(link)
The Hulk can always make things worse, Nat. I agree we're all trouble makers, though. I miss all of it, before we created Ultron. [It was this period of time when everything was going well so it couldn't last, but he does long for it.] We're not going to be able to get that back easily, but I'd settle for something similar enough to it. [Meaning all of them at least attempting to get along and being able to be in the same room together. Specifically Tony and Steve. Everyone else is fine with each other, as far as he knows.

He's able to look at her the way he wants when she stares up at the ceiling. He allows himself a moment to simply appreciate her. His visible admiration of her was always done quietly and subtly in the past, and he doesn't want to be accused of staring, but he is being indulgent for this one moment. He snaps himself out of it and shrugs, glancing away.]


Well it sure beat being stuck in the Hulk, but ... you know me. Deserve is not something I feel qualified to estimate for myself.
notsoangry: (taking glasses off)

[personal profile] notsoangry 2019-09-27 08:32 pm (UTC)(link)
[The kiss on his cheek feels like a brand; it's warm and lingers after she leans back. He looks back at her, color in his cheeks, and he smiles, feeling a little bewildered. He's far from against it, but it's an adjustment, to feel so free and welcome to touch her and vice versa. He is always so careful of her boundaries, but maybe that's him making them for her, not ones she intentionally put between them.

He reaches out to cup the face he admired, caressing her cheek with his thumb.]
Maybe it's possible. [He agrees quietly.] I'm not usually the optimist, but I don't think we're broken for good. [If he means the team or Steve and Tony or the two of them, it could mean all or none.]

All this touching, just so you know, is going to feed us for at least a week. I might be able to get a new pair of shoes even. [Bruce is teasing while also speaking the truth, curling her hair behind her ear. He's been getting by barely with Chroma, but a few hours with her and he feels flush with it. Or maybe that's just her, making him feel that way.]

I'm hoping to scientifically get to the bottom of how this is happening. Why it works. [He isn't going to accept it's magic just yet. Bruce darlingly leans in to kiss the cheek he has been touching, making it quick, like he's still expecting it to cross lines despite her doing it first.] It, uh, heals people too, apparently. [He mumbles, unnecessarily shy.]
notsoangry: (close with nat)

[personal profile] notsoangry 2019-09-30 10:54 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not ready to give up either. [He agrees, a bit more firmly than before. Maybe she is giving him strength again, she's always good at that, or helping him to focus on the better parts of their history. And that there are still things that are within their power, when in a place where they're powerless to get home.] We figured out time travel, I would have thought that was impossible. [Or just too dangerous and improbable.]

And let's face it. [He says very dryly.] There's only two people who we need to convince. I'm pretty sure the rest of us are on the same page. [Tony and Steve aren't there, all right? He can pin the nail on the head.

Bruce is more accustomed to dancing backward or rather fumbling backward, his list of reasons why not long enough to stack between the two of them. But so much has happened since then, for both of them. It's been years. It's been multiple traumas. Isn't there a point where they deserve this? There's no where to run at the moment and he doesn't want to. He wants to be right here and she does too. ]


This is more useful than actual medicine here, so I guess this is definitely the type of doctor I am. [Is he going to resent that just a tad? Probably. But he is better at compartmentalizing, and seeing touch as healing is an easy angle.] I can be any kind of doctor you want. [He tries hard to make that sound flirty and he makes a face. Fail, Banner.] That did not sound good at all out loud.
notsoangry: (smiling with drink)

[personal profile] notsoangry 2019-10-07 04:53 pm (UTC)(link)
[There were many ways to react to her laughing at him, but it's Bruce, so of course all he can do is blush and chuckle with her. He is not smooth at all, he's never been. Both women in his life had to be as blatant as possible before he even noticed they were interested.

Flirting is not a skill he's had to work at, and if anything this failure should teach him not to try, but he likes seeing her laugh. He likes making her laugh. She could use it, after all she's been through, and if him being ridiculous gets her there, it's worth the embarrassment.]


That's probably a good call, although I think it would be fun for you. You might get me to blush so hard I pass out.

[He smiles bashfully and kisses the top of her hair where it rests on his shoulder.]

You're the one who likes dorks who can't flirt, so this is your fault.
notsoangry: (looking down at drink)

[personal profile] notsoangry 2019-10-11 06:39 pm (UTC)(link)
[This is bliss, honestly. His feelings for her have never changed, will never change. He's as sure of that now as he is will be in five years. Having her in his arms no matter what way it is, Bruce is happy. It's too bad it took this situation for them to have a peaceful time like this, but he has no regrets at the moment.]

You've got lousy taste in men, kid. [He echoes, from that flirty moment at the bar when he thought for a moment maybe his life was taking a good turn.] Me, I have great taste. I fell for this woman who is amazing in every possible way. [Bruce settles his head briefly on top of hers.] Smart, funny, strong, empathic, accepting, beautiful. Sure, most of the time she's laughing at me, but I don't mind that.
notsoangry: (close with nat)

[personal profile] notsoangry 2019-10-15 06:55 pm (UTC)(link)
[He didn't think they'd get this again, and he also didn't think they'd get to talk like this. There was always so much unsaid between them. Maybe if things hadn't gone so wrong with Ultron this is where it could have headed for them. Two people who understood one another so well and had this natural balance not easy to find. For the first time Bruce is feeling a little selfish and willing to be happy they're there, if only for this.]

Maybe we both were lucky. Or really unlucky with timing.

[It's amazing how she makes him feel both thrilled and relaxed at the same time. Warm and calm.]

Do you think .... [He hesitates, even with them being this comfortable with each other, even with the certainty that Natasha wouldn't be here if it wasn't what she wanted. With their flirting and dancing around the subject, while addressing it, being more direct could throw things off. But Bruce feels like he doesn't want another few years of question marks at this point.] That the window is closed or that it could be opened again? [She asked him once, if they missed their window, and until now he thought it was slammed shut and locked multiple times.] Sometime. Maybe.
notsoangry: (looking at nat)

[personal profile] notsoangry 2019-10-17 01:39 pm (UTC)(link)
[Her initial silence worries him because he is always worried if he stepped out of line. If he reads a situation wrong, and it isn't that he has a problem if he did. He respects Nat and her decisions, and if she let him down gently he would hear that and accept it without any bitterness. So much time passed, more so now for her, and if his choices led him to lose this, he is an adult. He understands that's the way life is.

He doesn't move and waits for her to process. Because she is so very good at what she does, and because he is worried about seeing a different reaction so he wouldn't be able to observe what's going on in her otherwise, he doesn't see anything she doesn't want him to.

He believes her. Bruce smiles back, relieved. Also more than a little shocked now that he got an affirmative, because does he deserve something so good? Deserve is always something he struggles with. But his heart pounds and he feels a light-headed and he is slightly giddy. That all shows because his face is open, so she can see her deception works. His head lifts to touch her cheek, looking back down at her. Caught in this moment.]


Is it ... out of line if I kissed you right now?

[Despite everything he asks permission. The one and only time they kissed was more of a goodbye one than anything but he doesn't want to presume.]
notsoangry: (close with nat)

[personal profile] notsoangry 2019-10-17 02:16 pm (UTC)(link)
[Bruce knows very well how sometimes white lies are necessary and that everyone processes grief in their own time, so he will understand. He too understands the value in letting this be just about them. You both deserve a win, Steve said to him, a long time ago. They've gone through so much apart and they are happy, in this moment. They've been happy snuggling on the couch, flirting, talking through once painful things, and damned if he doesn't care at this moment about deserve.

He chuckles at the joke and caresses her cheek with his fingers.]
I think a yes will suffice.

[She gives him one and he is filled with nerve but the good type. He doesn't hesitate now. Bruce leans down, closing what little space is between them, and kisses her softly. it's as if nothing else about this place matters but her, she is the eye of the storm, the singular thing his world revolves around at the moment. Her lips are soft and while he noticed how the moonlacing made all of their touches stronger, this kiss burns almost immediately.]
notsoangry: (pic#13476231)

[personal profile] notsoangry 2019-10-17 10:28 pm (UTC)(link)
[There were so many times in the past he thought about kissing her, wanted to kiss her, before he even knew she was feeling the same way. It was somewhere along the lullaby, after it worked for the first time, and it was because of her. She gave him that, and he was exhausted but hopeful and he was struck with how beautiful her smile was. The impulse to kiss her then took him by complete shock but it happened more frequently after that. He's an expert at pining.

Their one kiss was so fast, desperate on her end since she knew what she had to do and this time he wants it to linger. It's been a long time since he's really gotten to kiss anyone, and he treasures it. Bruce lets the first kiss break but they're still so close and he says to hell with it and kisses her again, this time with more intent and passion.

And the best part about it is that his heart is definitely starting to pick up in speed, but there is no trace of Hulk's curiosity in him he can sense. All he knows is Nat's taste and smell and the feel of her long hair when his fingers run through it.]
notsoangry: (close with nat)

[personal profile] notsoangry 2019-10-22 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
[Bruce is always concerned, just a little, and the moment he feels anything nearing green he'll be the first to spring back and get himself under control. As he told Tony, the concept of turning into the Hulk in an intimate situation is the obvious reason he's never tried, and it's been an active worry of his since coming here. This place makes people feel a certain way and that can be trouble for a dangerous split personality like his. So far he's been very, very lucky.

And this has nothing to do with the moons at the moment. This is her and him and Bruce finds himself unusually greedy in the face of being allowed to want someone again. At the least he is allowed to kiss the woman who owns his heart without fear and that is a gift. All these years between them and this isn't dead. It's burning back to life again.

His arms wrap around her waist in a close embrace, slightly clumsy in execution because practice is not something he's had in a decade, but he is a quick learner. Bruce hums right back, in agreement and in amusement, only breaking the kiss due to a required few seconds of breathing. Which he's doing shallowly at the moment, nuzzling her nose affectionately with his, not pulling away.]


I adore you. [The word is used very precisely, the same ones she said to him. There's nothing to be pushed off of this time, so the sentiment stays instead. He never got to use the words or echo them at her, his feelings suppressed so skillfully. But he's done with it. He gently kisses her again to seal it to them. She doesn't need to say it again. She only needs to know where he's at.]
notsoangry: (smiling headphones)

[personal profile] notsoangry 2019-10-22 04:48 am (UTC)(link)
[For the first time in a long time he wants to try. It might stall a few times, if only for his hang-ups and anxieties, but if she is willing to be patient ... it could happen. He also can't deny that knowing there is someone he and the Hulk can trust to be with will be a giant relief when it comes to this place and its control over people. If she wants him the way she seems to, if she can accept him for who and what he is, he'll have a refuge to come to, a safe place and a welcoming embrace. He feels hope. Also, well, excitement and desire and a touch of giddiness.

He loves her laugh and the soft intimacy of their little touches. He breathes in her air and starts trailing kisses on her cheek and draw, finding contentment in this bit of freedom. Bruce doesn't know how much he'll be allowed, but this is a request for it. One arm stays around her while the other moves up her back and through her hair. She's so close. He could see every eyelash if he looked closely enough.

He raises an eyebrow at her, surprised she didn't know that moment between them was seared onto his mind forever.]


You said I adore you, kissed me, and pushed me off a cliff. [Dryly.] Not something I'd forget. [The last thing he remembered, before coming back to himself on Sakaar.] I thought I would never get to kiss you again. I accepted I might adore you in secret from then on. [Color flushes into his face but he stays firm, close, open to her in a way he was closed before.] I know five years in the future I would feel the same. Those feelings don't go away, not for me.

[It's so focused and eternally loyal of him, but true. He still loves Betty with everything in him, albeit from a respectful distance since she moved on with her life. Just as he kept his distance from Nat.] I don't expect the same. I just never got to tell you the truth.

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