widows_kiss | Appointments Post

[Natasha laughs at that wink, fond amusement in her gaze as she swings one foot absently in front of her.]

I suppose those perks help, yes. [Her smile softens a bit as she glances over at the woman.] You are fortunate.

[A pause, and a scoff.] Tony is triply so.

A bit. [Although there have been times…Pepper shakes her head at the thought, deciding it better not to count the times she’s either quit or come extremely close. Natasha’s right, after all. Pepper is fortunate.

Tony too, and Pepper laughs when she points that out.] Believe me, he knows it. [She looks back over at Natasha, curiosity in her gaze.] What about you?

[An eyebrow arches upward in inquiry.] What about me?

Are you with anyone? [Although a moment after she asks, Pepper winces. That might not have been the most considerate thing to bring up, especially if Natasha's SO isn't in Luceti with her.] If you don't mind telling me?

[Something flickers in Natasha's gaze and it drops to her hands around her glass, going carefully still.]

It's... complicated.

[A look of sympathy crosses Pepper's face. Complicated could mean any number of things, but from Natasha's body language? This time it's nothing good.]

You know, I'll listen if you want to talk about it. [Pepper would have anyway, but especially now when Natasha has done the same for her, and offered to stay with her.] We're practically having a girl's night anyway.

[Natasha gives a quiet laugh at that, shooting Pepper a crooked smile.]

It's also classified. But thank you.

[Although there was part of her that wished she could. That it was just that simple, to spill her frustrations to a friend, get some different perspective. But things had been complicated before, without the mess of timelines, of memories that did not yet exist. Now it felt hopelessly tangled.]

[Classified sounds a little convenient, but Pepper won't press--at least not just then.]

Well, if you ever decide that I've got appropriate clearance, consider the offer open. [Because SHIELD protocols be damned; Natasha was clearly bothered by this, and Pepper wouldn't let red tape get in the way. Especially not in Luceti, where the organization didn't truly exist.]

[She gives a quiet laugh, the sound a little wistful as she swirls the water in her glass.] I'm not even sure I should have clearance, but here I am. But I thank you, Pepper. Really. It means a lot, that you'd offer.

Oh, please. It's the least I can do. [Pepper shakes her head, genuinely wishing that Natasha would open up. But she has her reasons, things that Pepper's sure go beyond SHIELD-standing, and she's willing to let it be.

She put on a pan a few minutes ago, and now it's hot enough to start cooking on. It distracts her for a few minutes, but hopefully the aromas will keep the silence from becoming uncomfortable.]

It's hardly the least. [Natasha directs a smile at her glass, crooked and fond before glancing up at the woman.]

I wish it were as easy as that, honestly. Even if it weren't the tangle that it is, I've never been very good at just... spilling.

[They could probably spend most of the evening arguing over what either of them feels they owe the other, or how they want to help. But that seems pointless, so Pepper instead thinks about what it means to share someone's personal secrets with someone else.]

I don't know how good at it anyone can be. I think it comes down to trusting someone enough to let them in. And that probably just starts with being honest.

[Natasha gives a laugh at that, soft and subdued.]

Well, then you've possibly found the most helpless case possible.

[Pepper's silent for a long moment after that. It's simple, what Natasha's said, but there are also a lot of admissions among the words.]

Do you want to change that?

Some days. [That much is honest, at least.]

[Some days--but maybe not this one. Pepper won't push too far, especially not when Natasha's being so generous, but she does give a gentle reminder.]

Well, like I said. The offer is open.

[In case Natasha does decide to attempt that change, instead of just wishing for it.

Pepper moves the pan from the stove into the oven to finish cooking before a thought occurs to her.] You know, I just realized I didn't ask about your food preferences. This is just what I had planned to cook tonight.

[Natasha's smile, when it comes, holds a hint of wistful sadness, her gaze diverting for a moment at Pepper's open offer.] I do appreciate it, Pepper. More than I can say. I don't... discuss things easily with many people. There's a few exceptions but... Thank you. For offering it.

[She gives a soft laugh, staring down at the glass she held, her fingers tightening a bit.] Maybe if I can ever make enough sense of it to know where to start, I'll take you up on that.

[She wished she could now, what with her thoughts and emotions all jumbled up chaotically inside of her. She didn't make a habit of wanting what she couldn't have. Or mourning what could have been. And now she was caught between both. She hadn't been kidding when she'd said it was complicated.

Natasha smiles when Pepper pauses, then makes an excuse about dinner.] Whatever you're making is fine with me. I'm not picky, Pepper. Do whatever you like. I'm the guest here, after all.

[Pepper hesitates, debating for a moment whether or not she should add more. Just the idea that sometimes, there is no right place to start. But Natasha knows the offer is there, and in that moment looks so strangely sad, Pepper thinks better of it.]

Which means that as the host, I’m supposed to keep your likes and dislikes in mind. Or just as importantly, your potential food allergies. [With an allergy of her own, Pepper’s aware of the hassle that can be involved. She doesn’t want to accidentally send Natasha into anaphylactic shock.]

But if you’re fine with steak and vegetables, it shouldn’t be too much longer. Is medium a good temperature for you?

I'm fine with steak and vegetables. As far as I know, I don't have any food allergies. At least not that I've ever discovered. [She's glad for the change in topics, glancing back up at the other woman with a faint smile.] Medium is perfect.

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