[As far as shifts go, this one isn't too bad. It's enjoyable even. He's spent a lot of the day exploring rather than focusing on the scavenger hunt, and maybe he'd also 'borrowed' a car and gone for a ride in the Gangland, but who could blame him? They were really nice cars.
Getting shot at had been slightly less fun but totally in the spirit of things and he had accepted that as an occupation hazard a long time ago.
He hears someone heading in, recognises the sound of Natasha's footsteps, long since memorised, but... he cocks his head to the side slightly, frowning. There's something wrong with that, the way she's moving, something has her rattled or injured and he isn't going to hang around until she decides to tell him what. He slips out of the apartment, padding after her on bare feet until he catches up.]
[A light flicks on and she's standing there by the wall, a dagger in her hand, because sneaking up on her is never a smart move, and she was rattled enough that she wasn't taking any chances. Not tonight. Her face is pale, her expression strained, although she's obviously trying to come off as composed, maybe just a little tired. It's not as convincing as it should be, however. There's something... off.]
She doesn't want to, but Pepper has to. She promised Tony, and she has every intention of keeping it. That's where he'll expect her to be, maybe even where they'll send him back to (half-starved or with stitches in his skin, or worse), and Pepper needs to be there.
But without him that house is massive, and far too quiet. Pepper already knows she won't be sleeping much in the days to come, not until Tony's back. Being awake through the nights without him there holds no more appeal than trying to sleep through them though.
Which is why she's in Good Spirits, nursing a drink. Not a martini, because that's the cocktail he gets for her. No, she's simply got vodka without any of the flourishes, chilly and still able to burn with every sip. It won't ease the pain, or make the images fade. But it's Pepper's last drink before she leaves, and a straight drink gives her an excuse for taking her time.]
[She'd only intended to stop in for something quick on her way home, but the sight of a familiar figure at the bar gives her pause, because seeing Pepper here by herself is a little strange. Natasha frowns, hesitating a moment, hoping Tony hasn't been an ass about something. Still, a moment later, she's moving again, approaching, sliding into the stool beside the other woman.]
Rough day?
[It's asked with a wry smile and a glance at the vodka Pepper is currently nursing.]
[He's slept better since Coulson and Tasha arrived, that's for sure. Having that stability, it helps.
But better doesn't necessarily mean well, and it doesn't mean always. Coulson is in the hospital, hacking up a lung and his imagination is far too good at equating that with what he learnt about what had happened while he'd been under Loki's control..
It's a trickle of ice down his spine, blue fire and chilling clarity and You have heart.
It's his hands on the sceptre, his hands driving it into Coulson's body, Fury, Natasha...]
[She hadn't bothered going back to her room once they'd returned to the apartment, curling up instead with Clint on his bed. it wasn't as if they didn't do this every now and then, when one of them needed comfort or companionship. And after Coulson... well, she suspected they were both needing a little of each.
Still, her presence alone tonight doesn't seem to be enough to stave off his bad dreams and she comes awake in the dark, knowing he hasn't made a noise, but that he's distressed all the same. For a moment, she freezes, tensing automatically for danger, but quickly realizing the room itself holds no threat. Then she's turning, careful not to jolt him, startle him too badly, her hand on his arm.]
[He wasn't certain how things had turned so sour so quickly. Christmas had been pretty nice, almost like family, he supposed. And then Coulson had vanished on top of being sick, and then Barnes had gone missing and while that was a blow to both of them, Clint could see the strain in Natasha.
Made him kind of want to punch Barnes for putting that look there, but that would require more explanations than he could give and more than Natasha wanted to.
As it was, they probably both needed a break.
Which is why he turned up in Natasha's apartment early that morning, long before most of the village would be awake, and dropped a set of camping gear on the floor.]
[She was awake. Of course she was. Sleeping hadn't come well last night, which hadn't surprised her at all, and when Clint showed up, she'd been curled up on her sofa, nursing a half-empty cup of coffee and staring sightless out a dark window.
The sudden pile of camping gear in the middle of her floor had her blinking at it a moment before her gaze rose to his, one eyebrow arching upwards skeptically.]
[She hadn't wanted company today. Not after this morning, when catching Clint trying to slip out had left her feeling raw and uneasy and unhappy. He was gone now; she'd heard him leave, and she was regretting that she'd let him go with this still hanging between them. Maybe she should have apologized after all...
The sound of James' voice through her door had her eyes sliding shut in misery for a moment because she wasn't sure she was up to this. Not right now. She was only going to make things worse and there was a very large part of her tempted to just hide, pretend she wasn't home, to let him go away.
But that wasn't her. It wasn't right, and he deserved better than that. Especially from her. So she pushed herself off the bed and padded across the room to open the door. Even if she stayed partially behind it in an instinctive reaction of defensiveness, her green eyes tired and hesitant as she searched his face.]
[Place like Luceti doesn't really have much of a nightlife to speak of, but as far as these things go, Good Spirits is decent enough. There are drinks and people and distractions enough for what he needs when his two closest friends are on a mission. He worries. Sue him.
The drinks are pretty good though, has to be said. Decent beer; he's got a bottle of it and sips it slowly while he draws out a few spell diagrams in his notebook. It's more absent minded doodling than anything concrete yet, but sometimes that does lead to interesting ideas.]
[Max isn't the only one out tonight looking for a distraction. Natasha wanders into the bar a short time later and heads for the bar. She's tired of spending time at home, has spent far too much time lost in her own thoughts this week and the longer she spends there is just more of a reminder of how empty it feels. So here she is, not exactly looking for company but not opposed to it either.
She slides up onto the stool next to him, flicking a curious glance over at him and the thick leather-bound notebook in front of him, then realizing with a start that she knows him, although she hadn't bumped into him since their first meeting.]
Max, right? Out for something stronger than tea tonight?
[Bucky comes to her apartment late that morning. He's spent a lot of time thinking about what he should say, and even now he doesn't have anything good. The shock of finding out has worn off, and the visceral kind of horror that came later, when he let his thoughts stray too far into what if and when.
But in the end, he's come to realize that whatever happens, Bucky Barnes still dies when he leaves this place. So, in a way, the Winter Soldier changes everything, and nothing at all. He can't let something that hasn't happened yet ruin what he has left. There are plenty of empty places in his life, people he's not getting back. Natasha doesn't need to be one of them yet. He doesn't want her to leave--
To leave with things like this between them.
He knocks on her door, just like last time.] Natasha. You home?
[It's several long moments before she answers the door, having needed a moment to get over her surprise, to compose herself before gathering her courage to open the door. It's been almost three weeks since she's seen him, heard from him. Ever since the day he'd come here to talk, had distracted her from her hurt and confusion over Clint. And then she'd given him the truth and driven him away and there was a part of her that was terrified of answering the door. Of what might follow.
But she still answered it. She looked calm and composed, but there was a hint of wariness in her gaze, uneasiness, as she mustered a faint smile for him and leaned against the edge of the door, drinking in the sight of him.]
[Pepper's on her way home from a walk through the woods when she decides to make a detour. It's been just under two weeks since Natasha made her announcement, and Pepper's a little curious to see how the coffee shop is coming. She pauses in the doorway to knock when she gets there, wanting to alert the woman to her presence before she steps in.]
[Natasha's head popped up from behind the counter as she waves the other woman in. Her hair is drawn back off her face with a white bandanna and there's a smudge of dirt over her nose, but otherwise she's grinning, looking tired but happy.]
Come on in. Sorry for the mess. I've been scrubbing my way from one end of the place to the other and I haven't quite gotten over there yet.
There was no excuse not to be out and about now that the entire town of Luceti knew he had both legs. Best to make the most of it, and he was often out on a general run in the morning for a few hours. Becoming familiar with the lay of the land would be smart.
But during his times in the morning he'd passed past Natasha's coffee shop-- which was looking more and more like a coffee shop as the days passed. But today he smelled something really wonderful coming from there and it reminded him of... well, not so much home, but of a life long lost to him.
Deciding to detour, he turned into her shop, peeking in and taking in the scenery. Still a little unfinished, but a massive improvement from before.
Natasha was behind the counter when she heard the door open and glanced over to see a familiar head peeking inside. Setting aside the ingredients she'd been playing with, she wiped off her hands and came around to greet him with a crooked smile.
"Hey. I saw you out and about earlier. Looking good. Finished your workout for the morning?" she asked in lieu of a greeting, because at least her large front windows gave her an excellent vantage point for most goings-on in the town.
[When he and Pepper wrap up, Bucky heads immediately for the battle dome.
He couldn't worry about Killian when Pepper was a hell of a lot more important, but this has been brewing at the back of his mind ever since he heard that name, and by the time he gets to the gym, it's like a storm breaking. He can't be bothered with the wraps or the simulations one-handed, so it's just bare knuckles and bare feet and a heavy bag that he can't hit hard enough.
He's not hitting with his injured hand, but the pain spiders up his arm and into his shoulder every time he moves, and it just makes him angrier until he's forgotten everything around him but rhythm and force and the many ways he knows how to kill a man, none of which mean anything at all.]
Re: [May 21st, late night] IT IS SHHHHHH SHE'S ALLOWED
[It's late and he hasn't come home. Missed dinner. It's not like him and it's not hard to guess something's happened. The Dome is the first place she checks, because she knows him well, even if half her knowledge doesn't always apply.
But this? This she knows.
She finds him in one of the rooms, the quick and violent beat of fist and feet against a bag giving her a startled moment of recollection, because that's an old pattern, a familiar one, and her breath catches in her throat as she rushes in.
He hasn't noticed her and it gives her a moment to collect her shaken composure. Fear mixed with a surge of emotions and memories she's not at all prepared to deal with. And doesn't have time for, if the expression on his face is anything to go by. She's careful, circles the outside of the room until she crosses into his line of vision, lets him notice her before she approaches, her expression calm but her eyes worried as they stay locked on his face.]
[Her sleep has been poor since her return to Luceti, and in truth most of her nights have been spent not in slumber, but silently staring into the darkness, wishing the nothingness of rest might claim her. Brief naps here and there have kept her functioning, but they aren't enough, and by her third night back she's too tired for the thoughts to keep her awake.
She's no better off for it, however. The memories of what she's endured linger on, and in her dreams they have so many more ways to manifest. In sleep she can feel the fire and the pain, Extremis burning into every nerve and every cell and everything she is, changing her. She can feel herself falling, an endless drop, flame tearing at her flesh and blinding her eyes, but not before she sees his face. No, not before that clear image of Tony's hand outstretched, of horror in his eyes as she slips past him, drops down and down and down, all of it endless, leaving her helpless to do anything but scream for it to stop, please someone, Tony, make it stop.]
[Natasha's a light sleeper at the best of times, so the cry from the room next to hers has her up and out of bed before the sound's even faded. Pepper's room is dark except for the moonlight from the window, but it's enough to show Natasha the thrashing form in the bed.
She's across the room, hands reaching out to shake her awake, falling to Pepper's shoulders so her subconscious hopefully doesn't react to being restrained or restricted or attacked. She doesn't know what the other woman is dreaming, but at the moment that matters less than the fact that she is.]
Pepper! Come on, Pepper, wake up. It's just a bad dream. Open your eyes for me.
Yes, we'll stay in town. I wasn't thinking of going all that far. Although it might not remain here on the lake. There are still some very comfortable homes in town, however.
[Which she was considering her best option, as she didn't see her parents being all too pleased with this move of independence from her. She couldn't count on their support for it, so she had to rely on herself.
The second bit of Rue's reply had her arching an eyebrow in surprise however, a hint of a smile playing about her lips.]
[Bucky hasn't exactly been having the time of his life waiting around for news, so when Steve gets home that evening he's glad to see him to say the least, even if he looks a hell of a lot worse for the wear. He finds out why not long after; the options they had, and the choices they made, and would live with. It's a lot of lives to have on your head, even if they're not people anyone is on good terms with.
It's with this in mind that he goes to find Natasha that night, leaving her a quick note to let her know he'll swing by. He lets himself in, a bottle in a brown bag tucked under his arm.]
She's curled up on the couch in her living room. And not alone, although the dog curled up with her isn't what one would normally call 'company'. Lucky seemed to have a sixth sense about when someone needed something to cuddle, and he'd shown up at her doorstep, tail wagging happily to see her, moments after she'd gotten back home. Unpacking could wait. Instead, she curled up with the dog until the voice from the doorway drew her attention. She hadn't been worried, she'd heard the key in the lock, which had meant it was him.
She managed a crooked smile when he came in, although there was a tired air about her as she met his gaze.
She'd given herself a handful of days to try and figure out what she wanted to say. It wasn't exactly an easy topic to broach, considering how dear Natasha was to her. But the sense of betrayal wasn't going to fade, not until Pepper actually got some answers. So she communicated with Natasha for the second time since Billy had revealed the truth behind Susanna's existence, and the cessation thereof. The first had been to cancel their normal coffee date; no explanation given, just a short and simple request written in professional script.
The second was no less politely delivered: I'd like to talk to you this evening. Would you mind if I came to the shop after it closed?
The other woman gave her consent, which led to Pepper opening the door to the coffee shop despite the clearly visible closed sign. She walked over to the counter, knowing Natasha would be expecting her, but at the same time unsure of exactly where to begin. She would have had her reasons; she was Natasha, and Pepper had no doubt there was some strand of logic she couldn't yet see. That and the days between had kept her temper in check, if barely. Now, however, it was starting to wear thin.
There were so many things Pepper still needed to know, and answers she dreaded hearing.
It's been a harrowing few days for Natasha and the message she'd gotten from Pepper this morning - despite its polite wording - had left her dreading whatever Pepper needed to say that she needed to set up an appointment for it rather than just stop by. She had her suspicions, of course, although in this place, it could also just as easily be something random and out of the blue sent into their lives to complicate things.
She's in the back room when she hears the door open. She's sent her staff home for the night already, leaving the place empty and private for her and Pepper's talk. Setting aside the inventory she'd been working on, she heads back out into the cafe again and gives Pepper a faint nod and a smile in greeting.
"Hey. Sorry if I kept you waiting. Would you like anything to drink while we talk?"
[November 26th | Action]
Getting shot at had been slightly less fun but totally in the spirit of things and he had accepted that as an occupation hazard a long time ago.
He hears someone heading in, recognises the sound of Natasha's footsteps, long since memorised, but... he cocks his head to the side slightly, frowning. There's something wrong with that, the way she's moving, something has her rattled or injured and he isn't going to hang around until she decides to tell him what. He slips out of the apartment, padding after her on bare feet until he catches up.]
Natasha?
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Did you need something, Clint?
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[Dec 4 | Action]
She doesn't want to, but Pepper has to. She promised Tony, and she has every intention of keeping it. That's where he'll expect her to be, maybe even where they'll send him back to (half-starved or with stitches in his skin, or worse), and Pepper needs to be there.
But without him that house is massive, and far too quiet. Pepper already knows she won't be sleeping much in the days to come, not until Tony's back. Being awake through the nights without him there holds no more appeal than trying to sleep through them though.
Which is why she's in Good Spirits, nursing a drink. Not a martini, because that's the cocktail he gets for her. No, she's simply got vodka without any of the flourishes, chilly and still able to burn with every sip. It won't ease the pain, or make the images fade. But it's Pepper's last drink before she leaves, and a straight drink gives her an excuse for taking her time.]
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Rough day?
[It's asked with a wry smile and a glance at the vodka Pepper is currently nursing.]
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[December 12 | Action]
But better doesn't necessarily mean well, and it doesn't mean always. Coulson is in the hospital, hacking up a lung and his imagination is far too good at equating that with what he learnt about what had happened while he'd been under Loki's control..
It's a trickle of ice down his spine, blue fire and chilling clarity and You have heart.
It's his hands on the sceptre, his hands driving it into Coulson's body, Fury, Natasha...]
Re: [December 12 | Action]
Still, her presence alone tonight doesn't seem to be enough to stave off his bad dreams and she comes awake in the dark, knowing he hasn't made a noise, but that he's distressed all the same. For a moment, she freezes, tensing automatically for danger, but quickly realizing the room itself holds no threat. Then she's turning, careful not to jolt him, startle him too badly, her hand on his arm.]
Clint. Wake up. You're dreaming.
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[December 28th | Action]
Made him kind of want to punch Barnes for putting that look there, but that would require more explanations than he could give and more than Natasha wanted to.
As it was, they probably both needed a break.
Which is why he turned up in Natasha's apartment early that morning, long before most of the village would be awake, and dropped a set of camping gear on the floor.]
Wake up sleeping beauty, we're shipping out.
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The sudden pile of camping gear in the middle of her floor had her blinking at it a moment before her gaze rose to his, one eyebrow arching upwards skeptically.]
Shipping out where, exactly?
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Feb 19th | Action
He knocks on her door late in the afternoon.]
Natasha, it's Bucky. You got a minute?
Re: Feb 19th | Action
The sound of James' voice through her door had her eyes sliding shut in misery for a moment because she wasn't sure she was up to this. Not right now. She was only going to make things worse and there was a very large part of her tempted to just hide, pretend she wasn't home, to let him go away.
But that wasn't her. It wasn't right, and he deserved better than that. Especially from her. So she pushed herself off the bed and padded across the room to open the door. Even if she stayed partially behind it in an instinctive reaction of defensiveness, her green eyes tired and hesitant as she searched his face.]
I do. Several, actually. What is it you need?
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[March 1st | Action]
The drinks are pretty good though, has to be said. Decent beer; he's got a bottle of it and sips it slowly while he draws out a few spell diagrams in his notebook. It's more absent minded doodling than anything concrete yet, but sometimes that does lead to interesting ideas.]
Re: [March 1st | Action]
She slides up onto the stool next to him, flicking a curious glance over at him and the thick leather-bound notebook in front of him, then realizing with a start that she knows him, although she hadn't bumped into him since their first meeting.]
Max, right? Out for something stronger than tea tonight?
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[March 10th | Action]
But in the end, he's come to realize that whatever happens, Bucky Barnes still dies when he leaves this place. So, in a way, the Winter Soldier changes everything, and nothing at all. He can't let something that hasn't happened yet ruin what he has left. There are plenty of empty places in his life, people he's not getting back. Natasha doesn't need to be one of them yet. He doesn't want her to leave--
To leave with things like this between them.
He knocks on her door, just like last time.] Natasha. You home?
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But she still answered it. She looked calm and composed, but there was a hint of wariness in her gaze, uneasiness, as she mustered a faint smile for him and leaned against the edge of the door, drinking in the sight of him.]
Hi.
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April 22 [action]
Hello? Anyone home?
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[Natasha's head popped up from behind the counter as she waves the other woman in. Her hair is drawn back off her face with a white bandanna and there's a smudge of dirt over her nose, but otherwise she's grinning, looking tired but happy.]
Come on in. Sorry for the mess. I've been scrubbing my way from one end of the place to the other and I haven't quite gotten over there yet.
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[May 20th] Late Morning
But during his times in the morning he'd passed past Natasha's coffee shop-- which was looking more and more like a coffee shop as the days passed. But today he smelled something really wonderful coming from there and it reminded him of... well, not so much home, but of a life long lost to him.
Deciding to detour, he turned into her shop, peeking in and taking in the scenery. Still a little unfinished, but a massive improvement from before.
Re: [May 20th] Late Morning
"Hey. I saw you out and about earlier. Looking good. Finished your workout for the morning?" she asked in lieu of a greeting, because at least her large front windows gave her an excellent vantage point for most goings-on in the town.
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[May 21st, late night] HER TAG FOR BUCKY IS JAMES? RYNN....
He couldn't worry about Killian when Pepper was a hell of a lot more important, but this has been brewing at the back of his mind ever since he heard that name, and by the time he gets to the gym, it's like a storm breaking. He can't be bothered with the wraps or the simulations one-handed, so it's just bare knuckles and bare feet and a heavy bag that he can't hit hard enough.
He's not hitting with his injured hand, but the pain spiders up his arm and into his shoulder every time he moves, and it just makes him angrier until he's forgotten everything around him but rhythm and force and the many ways he knows how to kill a man, none of which mean anything at all.]
Re: [May 21st, late night] IT IS SHHHHHH SHE'S ALLOWED
But this? This she knows.
She finds him in one of the rooms, the quick and violent beat of fist and feet against a bag giving her a startled moment of recollection, because that's an old pattern, a familiar one, and her breath catches in her throat as she rushes in.
He hasn't noticed her and it gives her a moment to collect her shaken composure. Fear mixed with a surge of emotions and memories she's not at all prepared to deal with. And doesn't have time for, if the expression on his face is anything to go by. She's careful, circles the outside of the room until she crosses into his line of vision, lets him notice her before she approaches, her expression calm but her eyes worried as they stay locked on his face.]
What is it?
[May 21st, late night]
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[May 22, Night] IM3 Spoilers
She's no better off for it, however. The memories of what she's endured linger on, and in her dreams they have so many more ways to manifest. In sleep she can feel the fire and the pain, Extremis burning into every nerve and every cell and everything she is, changing her. She can feel herself falling, an endless drop, flame tearing at her flesh and blinding her eyes, but not before she sees his face. No, not before that clear image of Tony's hand outstretched, of horror in his eyes as she slips past him, drops down and down and down, all of it endless, leaving her helpless to do anything but scream for it to stop, please someone, Tony, make it stop.]
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She's across the room, hands reaching out to shake her awake, falling to Pepper's shoulders so her subconscious hopefully doesn't react to being restrained or restricted or attacked. She doesn't know what the other woman is dreaming, but at the moment that matters less than the fact that she is.]
Pepper! Come on, Pepper, wake up. It's just a bad dream. Open your eyes for me.
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[August 2-6] Luceti Valley Experiment (continued)
Natasha and Rue (continued)
Yes, we'll stay in town. I wasn't thinking of going all that far. Although it might not remain here on the lake. There are still some very comfortable homes in town, however.
[Which she was considering her best option, as she didn't see her parents being all too pleased with this move of independence from her. She couldn't count on their support for it, so she had to rely on herself.
The second bit of Rue's reply had her arching an eyebrow in surprise however, a hint of a smile playing about her lips.]
A boy, is it? And who is this boy?
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[September 12th | Action]
It's with this in mind that he goes to find Natasha that night, leaving her a quick note to let her know he'll swing by. He lets himself in, a bottle in a brown bag tucked under his arm.]
Honey, I'm home.
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She managed a crooked smile when he came in, although there was a tired air about her as she met his gaze.
"Shouldn't that be my line?"
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November 11 | Action
The second was no less politely delivered: I'd like to talk to you this evening. Would you mind if I came to the shop after it closed?
The other woman gave her consent, which led to Pepper opening the door to the coffee shop despite the clearly visible closed sign. She walked over to the counter, knowing Natasha would be expecting her, but at the same time unsure of exactly where to begin. She would have had her reasons; she was Natasha, and Pepper had no doubt there was some strand of logic she couldn't yet see. That and the days between had kept her temper in check, if barely. Now, however, it was starting to wear thin.
There were so many things Pepper still needed to know, and answers she dreaded hearing.
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She's in the back room when she hears the door open. She's sent her staff home for the night already, leaving the place empty and private for her and Pepper's talk. Setting aside the inventory she'd been working on, she heads back out into the cafe again and gives Pepper a faint nod and a smile in greeting.
"Hey. Sorry if I kept you waiting. Would you like anything to drink while we talk?"
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