Appointments Post

[widows_kiss]

[DATE] | [VOICE / ACTION / WRITTEN]


~ STANDING APPOINTMENTS ~
Daily:
Early morning run
CH5 Avengers Breakfast
Training Session at the Battle Dome

Other:
Friday: 8AM Coffee Date with Pepper

Comments

Re: Feb 19th | Action

[widows_kiss]

You don't have to apologize to me, James. You never did. Not for anything.

[Her voice is soft as she shakes her head, watches him, her gaze steady and serious. She wasn't sure what he was thinking - he'd never been so easy to read and Bucky was just enough different to throw her off even further. Then again, everything she'd just told him... that was a lot to take in. A lot to even believe, considering he'd known her so short a time. Had little reason to trust she was telling him the truth. She meets his gaze, her expression calm, because she hadn't told him this for him to feel guilty, even though she knew he would. Still, she tries to explain that part a little more clearly for him.]

I don't want your apologies. I didn't tell you this so you could blame yourself for things that haven't happened yet, and that you had no choice in. You followed orders, but you weren't like them. Before I met you... I followed orders and I was. I didn't know anything differently, didn't think for myself. I only obeyed. They'd made me a weapon and I was one of the best. You... you changed that. You taught me to think. To reason. To feel.

I know this is a horrible fate for you to contemplate. Completely different than everything you struggled and fought for, believed in. I didn't want to tell you for precisely that reason. But I don't want your apologies, James, because if it weren't for you... I wouldn't be alive right now. I might never have been alive, never been more than a weapon aimed at a world I've come to love. I owe you... everything.

Re: Feb 19th | Action

[jamesbarnes]

[He can read between the lines enough to hear what Natasha's talking around. They got involved, maybe they fell in love, and maybe they found something human in each other, there's no way for him to know. It hasn't happened yet. But either way he thinks Natasha is giving him too much credit for some things, and not enough blame for others, if everything she says is true.]

No. The only thing you could possibly owe me was the truth about what happened between us, and that's out now.

[There's a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. He needs to get out of here and sort all this out. He cards his fingers through his hair.]

I think I should go.

Re: Feb 19th | Action

[widows_kiss]

[She doesn't visibly flinch at his words, but she feels it all the same, her hands tightening for the briefest moment in her lap, knuckles white, before she forces them to relax again. The movie's still playing on in the background, but now its just noise and she pays it no attention as she gets to her feet. She feels numb.]

Alright.

Re: Feb 19th | Action

[jamesbarnes]

[There's something telling about her stillness, and the near total lack of reaction. He realizes too late that his first instinct has been to run, and it's going to hurt her, but it's too much.

He can't make himself stay, and he can't just leave things like this between them.]

Natasha... [When they get to the door he starts to reach for her hand but stops himself short, fingers closing on air before returning to his side.] We'll talk later.

Re: Feb 19th | Action

[widows_kiss]

[She meets his gaze for the briefest of moments before giving him a nod, her expression carefully blank and controlled. She opens the door and steps back to give him room. She almost feels like she should apologize, but... she doesn't even know where to start. She doesn't have any words that will make this any better. Instead, she just falls back on the same answer, because she doesn't know what else to say.

She can't make this right. She's not sure anything can.]

Alright.

Re: Feb 19th | Action

[jamesbarnes]

[He can't read her expression or the response after it. He doesn't know what else to say either, or if he wants anything like an apology from her. On the one hand, he wishes she'd told him from the start, but on the other, some small cowardly part of him wishes she'd never told him at all, and it's just enough for him to understand.

He nods in return and steps out. He doesn't look back as he heads back down the hallway. Faint notes of music from the movie follow him until she finally shuts the door.]