widows_kiss | Appointments Post

[He doesn't know either. It's on his face when he lifts his gaze to meet hers.]

Well, from the sounds of it, you've got a past with me, and I've got a future with you. [He smiles slightly, realizing it sounds like a line, and not a good one at that.] I meant what I said before. I don't regret anything that happened between us.

But you know, this Winter Soldier... that's not who I am. As long as I've got a say in it, that's not who I'll ever be.

[She attempts a faint smile - it lingers for a moment before fading again, because she's not taking this lightly, doesn't want him thinking that, even if wry humor is an instinctive fallback. A defensive one.]

I know that, James. Bucky. [She corrects herself, even though the name feels awkward on her tongue. She's never used it before now.] I know that all too well. This... you are a side of him I never got to see. There's similarities there I can pick out because I knew him so well. A familiarity, just as you picked up on it when we fought. But you're not the same and I know that. I don't blame you for not wanting... that.

[She suspected that if James had had a say in any of it, he would have felt the same as Bucky.

She glanced down at her hands again, trying to choose her words with care.] I don't regret what happened between us either. If this had just been about my past, my memories... I never would have allowed you as close as I did. I'm not... I'm no longer the person I was with him. But I'll understand if you... if I'm an unpleasant reminder of things you wish you didn't know.

[Bucky gives her a wry smile.] Sweetheart, if the future is anything like you say it is, you're about the only good thing I can see in it.

[He almost leaves it there but he doesn't want the heaviness of that truth hanging between them either.]

Hey, do me a favor and say my nickname again? Your face looks a little like... you know when you try to get kids to eat their vegetables and they're somewhere between offended and resigned to fate?

[She huffs out a soft laugh at that, her tone wry as she rubs her thumb over the back of her knuckles. And tries to ignore the familiar warm flutter when he calls her sweetheart, trying not to look into it too deeply.] That is a sad state of affairs.

[His request has her gaze coming up in curiosity for a moment, until he got to the end of it, and her surprise is visible for a moment before she makes a face at him, her nose wrinkling as she sticks her tongue out. It's surprisingly playful for her, but its a break in the heavy tension that's lingered since he knocked on her door.]

Watch it, Barnes. I am still capable of kicking your ass.

I dunno, I hear some girls like that kind of thing. Metal arm, huh? Is that what it takes? [Bucky raises his eyebrows.

He leans in when she says she can kick his ass, the spark of a challenge written all over his face.]

As long as you call me Bucky while you do it.

Wouldn't you like to know? [Her tone is oh-so-dry but there's the briefest twitch at the corner of her lips as he counters with that. There's relief written in her gaze, that he can take some part of this lightly, lightly enough to crack a joke like that at least. Falling back on humor - its a trait her and Clint often use. Sometimes the only reaction you can take, in her opinion.

He leans forward then, and she can't help but smile at the expression on his face, the playful challenge that sparks in his gaze. Her gaze warms, lips curving upwards as she regards him in amusement.]

Fine, then. Bucky. Happy?

[Bucky gives her his best shit-eating grin.] Depends. Are you gonna make that face every time? Because you know that's the best part, right?

You're imagining it. [He's still leaning close, smirking at her in that cocky arrogant way of his. That look she loves to see on his face, as new and subtly different as it is.] I'm not making a face.

[He's taunting her, challenging her, and while she's not entirely sure she's reading him right, she takes him up on it, taking a risk, though her breath freezes tight in her chest as she moves. There's a challenge in her own gaze as she leans close, gives him a playful shove that knocks him off the arm of the sofa and back onto the cushions, intending to perch on the arm she'd just knocked him off of and smirk down at him.]

Denial isn't just a-- [Natasha shoves him and Bucky reacts just like he did during their sparring session - he grabs for her arm, trying to drag her down with him. Except this time he's laughing, too.]

[She lets him, a hint of a laugh escaping her as she ends up on top of him, half-sprawled on the sofa. She reaches for a pillow, playfully swatting him with it as she laughs again.]

There's no denial! It's just my face! [She scoffs at him, teasing, but some of the shadows are faded from her gaze now, replaced by genuine humor.]

[The swat earns her another chuckle.] Then I guess you've just got a cute face.

Edited 2013-04-10 18:19 (UTC)

[She rolls her eyes at that, resting on top of him, her arms crossed on his chest as she peers down at him, still looking bemused.] You're impossible.

Sorry. [He brushes a loose curl away from her face and tucks it gently behind her ear.] Can't help it.

Have you tried? [It's said teasingly, but her gaze has softened at his move, watching him with a thoughtful look as she props her chin atop her hands on his chest.]

Nope. [One of his hands settles just above the curve of her hip.] Comfortable?

Didn't think so. [She gives him a faint smile at that, because he doesn't seem tense or uncomfortable at this. If he had, she would have moved already.] Yes. You make a good cushion.

Happy to be of service, ma'am. [He does his best Good Soldier impression, though there's some obvious wry humor beneath the words. His expression sobers a little after that.]

So... You really okay with this?

Edited 2013-04-11 18:17 (UTC)

[She's still resting atop him, her smile softening at his question, at the way he watches her so seriously.]

I feel like I should be asking you this. Yes, Bucky, I am really okay with this. I knew what I was getting into from the start. Are you okay with this? I realize there are still... complications here. Malnosso-induced romance aside.

[Bucky considers her answer a moment before he nods seriously. He still feels like he might be a reminder of one of the worst times in her life, but Natasha is the one decide if there's any truth in that beyond his own guilty conscience.]

I knew what I was getting into. [He pauses, makes a face.]

...Except for everything I didn't know. No more lies, alright? At least, not about us. And not to protect me. Anything else... [He shrugs a shoulder.] I trust you.

[She gives a small laugh at that, her gaze darting to the side for a moment as her lips quirk, and there are old shadows in her gaze.] Even after all that, hmm?

[Her gaze comes back to his then and she taps him lightly on the nose with the tip of one finger, her expression surprisingly solemn.] I'll do my best. No more lies to protect you. And if there are things you want to know... About you. About me. About us. I'll answer those too. But only if you want to know.

You think I never lied to protect anyone? Unless I disappear one day, and come back as the man you knew, Steve never hears about this.

[He gives her an unimpressed look when she taps his nose, but he's listening. He thinks about it this time. There's no question that it's easier to live with even part of the truth, and the person he's supposed to become isn't the person he is... But he can't bring himself to close that door completely. It's part curiosity, part concern, and, admittedly, part desperation to find a little bit of something he can still change.]

I want to know all of it.

He won't hear of it from me. [It's a promise she can easily give. She knows how much guilt Steve already carries from those days. The grief. The loss. She doesn't want to add to that. And she can guess what the knowledge that his best friend had been left alive and lost after that grim mission would do to him. He'd never forgive himself. Her lips quirk faintly.] I'm good at secrets, at least. I struggled long enough in deciding whether I should tell you. Now it is your secret to tell, or not.

[She waits while he thinks that over, patient. Willing to accept whatever he decides. She's not very surprised by his answer, but she gives him a crooked smile in reply.]

I'll tell you all of it that I know.

Good.

[If Bucky has his way, Steve will never have to hear about it, but he knows this place too well. It's a matter of time.

He nods, and shifts a little, settles in to listen. Natasha tells him everything that she knows.]

Appointments Post

Re: [March 10th | Action]

Re: [March 10th | Action]

Re: [March 10th | Action]

Re: [March 10th | Action]

Re: [March 10th | Action]

Re: [March 10th | Action]

Re: [March 10th | Action]

Re: [March 10th | Action]

[March 10th | Action]

Re: [March 10th | Action]

Re: [March 10th | Action]

Re: [March 10th | Action]

Re: [March 10th | Action]

Re: [March 10th | Action]

Re: [March 10th | Action]

Re: [March 10th | Action]

Re: [March 10th | Action]

Re: [March 10th | Action]

Re: [March 10th | Action]

Re: [March 10th | Action]

Re: [March 10th | Action]

Re: [March 10th | Action]

Re: [March 10th | Action]