widows_kiss | Appointments Post

Natasha doesn't roll her eyes at the grin, but it's a near thing. And she's not going to admit that her tiny smile might be growing a tiny bit wider. "I'm not sure we count as a 'together' thing. we're just... I don't know. We're trying it out."

Natasha can roll her eyes all she likes; Pepper's still thrilled for her, and she certainly doesn't miss the way that smile starts to grow as she tries to play down what she's found.

"You count. You definitely count." She reaches over to squeeze Natasha's hand, excitement clear in the gesture. "I'm thrilled for you. Both of you. I take it that this is something new, then?"

"Very," Natasha confesses, dropping her sponge for the moment to sink back on her heels again. "Maybe a week or two. Like I said, we're still figuring it out as we go."

Pepper nods, as she has some idea of how hard that can be for a person not used to actual relationships. Not that she really knows much about Natasha's romantic history, but given how hard of a time the woman has opening up, she's willing to guess.

"Well, let me know if I can help, even by listening." Although Pepper knows better than to think it will be as simple as Natasha coming to her with a problem. "Now that I know to ask, you can expect well-intentioned prying on a regular basis."

"Great," Natasha scoffs, rolling her eyes for real now, although her smile still lingers, teasing and playful. "I knew I should have said Tony so this could have evolved into a catfight instead."

"Sorry; it still wouldn't have worked. I wouldn't have fallen for it." Because despite Tony's history, Pepper knows he wouldn't cheat on her. Especially not with all they've been through, and it's why she can answer back with humor. "You're just doomed to have me concerned about your general well-being and happiness. I'm pretty sure there are worse fates out there."

"If I think of any, I'll let you know," Natasha drawled, laughing softly. "I happen to enjoy my secrets, thanks. You're going to be the death of my reputation."

"Yes, I'm sure the entire village will be convinced you wear your heart on your sleeve in no time," Pepper replies with a wry grin of her own. "I'm not asking for every detail you've hidden throughout your life, you know. Just a little trust--which I know can't come easy for a spy."

It wasn't just the spy part that made her that way. Trust was not a thing she did easily. Or rarely at all. Still, she made a face at Pepper's teasing, her manner playful. "See? I knew it. I'm onto you, Potts," she scoffed, shaking her sponge at her in mock suspicion. But her smile softened then, her expression turning rueful.

"Harder than most."

"Damn. My secret identity as a menace has been revealed." She goes along with the banter for as long as it lasts, not wanting Natasha to feel too uncomfortable. And the woman admits she has a difficult time with it, causing Pepper to nod.

"We'll get you there."

Pepper gets a wry look for that.

"And if I don't want to get there?"

Pepper raises an eyebrow. "Then maybe I'm wrong. But do you really want to stay closed off from everyone, Natasha?"

"Trust isn't a useful commodity in my line of business, Pepper."

In some cases it was. Like knowing who she could and who she couldn't. Natasha tended to have very good instincts in that sense of things. But just because she could didn't mean she did. She was too cynical for that.

"No, I'd imagine it wouldn't be." She meets Natasha's gaze with an even look, the hints of a dry smile showing at the corners of her mouth. "But I'm hoping our friendship isn't about your line of business. At least, that's the assumption I've been working off of."

Natasha's lips quirk faintly at that. "No, the months under cover at SI were quite enough, thank you. This... this has nothing to do with work. I'm not on assignment, Pepper, if that's what you're worried about."

"I have to say, I'd be pretty impressed if you were on assignment under the circumstances." And maybe more than a little frustrated, because if SHIELD knows about Luceti and isn't doing anything? Pepper might have to have words with Nick Fury herself.

But there's another reason she brought up that particular point. "But since our friendship isn't because of your work, I don't think you get to use your work as an excuse to limit it so much. You're more than just a spy, Natasha. You're a person."

"There you go again, trying to ruin my reputation," Natasha rolled her eyes, but there's a hint of self-consciousness in her reaction as she drops her sponge in the bucket.

Being a person was still something that sometimes felt strange. It was certainly a newer change. Maybe since that day Clint brought her in, when she ceased being just a weapon. A tool to be used, a dagger to be wielded or cast. Considering the years she'd spent being otherwise, this still felt new and strange at times. She wondered if she'd ever get used to it.

"I'm not trying to make excuses or limit it, Pepper. It's just a little strange at times."

"You think I'd be better at not doing that, with my PR experience." But the tease is gentle, because she can tell Natasha's starting to feel uncomfortable. It's not what she wants, even if Pepper does hope her point has come across somewhere along the way.

"I know it probably seems that way. But strange doesn't mean bad."

"Which is a very good thing in my case," Natasha counters wryly, realizing Pepper had picked up on her discomfort. She shakes her head, giving her a small smile. "Still, I appreciate the offer. And it's one I might take you up on. The whole dating thing is about as new a concept as the rest of it. This was so much simpler when it was a job and a cover."

"That's because there's less risk to you." Although once she realizes just how that sounds, Pepper hesitates and tries to clarify. "I mean, there's definitely risk. Getting hurt or something. But actually dating someone means you're emotionally vulnerable. You're opening yourself up to someone, and that can be hard for anyone."

"I know what you meant. And yes. That. Exactly that. People trying to kill me? That's normal. That's easy. I can handle that half asleep. This... This is occasionally terrifying. I don't know what to do with this." She gives a strained laugh, throwing her hands in the air.

Pepper smiles sympathetically, because what she's going to tell Natasha is closer to the truth than fantasy. "Well, it isn't easy. There are going to be times when you're ready to strangle each other." Pepper can name a few, mostly featuring her wanting to throttle Tony. "But when it's good, it's...probably the best thing I've ever had, if I'm honest. And that makes it worth working through the hard parts."

Natasha huffs out a quiet sigh and sinks back on her heels again, brushing her hair out of her face as she looks rueful. "Well. That's encouraging."

"I'm dating Tony Stark. I really hope you weren't expecting me to say it's all rainbows and sunshine."

"No, that's a level of insanity not even I would touch," Natasha laughs out, humor glinting in green eyes.

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